I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
