Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
BRING THE BAGELS
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
