I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
