Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
