its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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