He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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