Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
