okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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