Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
