Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
