i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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