Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
