Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
