I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
