So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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