Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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