mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
