Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.