I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
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please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
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He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.