My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
it's like iHOP with fire
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.