i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.