I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
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