dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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