No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Randomize
