I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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