Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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