I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
