Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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