I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑