I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
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next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
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We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes