I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
19 Teachers Share the Funniest Items Brought to “Show and Tell”
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS