What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.