I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
