i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
