Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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