We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
