Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize