ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
