I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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