Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Randomize
