Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
