He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
