It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
