He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
