I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
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