just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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