i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
