You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
