So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
