Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
