You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
