I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
