Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize