I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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