Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
