great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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