I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
