i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
