Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
The police scanner is talking about you again....
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
