A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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