My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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