i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
