Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
