I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Randomize
