There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
