I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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